Last week, I wrote about how it isn’t my husband’s job to complete me. Read about it here. Today, I’d like to bring things full circle.
My husband doesn’t complete me because he isn’t supposed to. It’s unfair to put such a great burden on him, especially since I know I don’t even complete him. Yes, we love each other, and yes, we make life worth it. Together. But there is a limit to what we can do for each other. And we each have so many things to work on to become better people, and we can’t pass those things off to each other.
So here’s the truth. Jesus completes me. And I’m not saying this as a religious statement. He really is the only one who knows all there is to know about me, and I can honestly say, I need Him in more ways than I need the man I married. And my husband understands this, because He feels the same way.
To be sure, when I say Jesus completes me, I don’t mean I’m perfected. A long way from that, I have to admit. I still have my doubts, I still worry about everything. But I do have the promise of perfection, I just know it won’t be in this lifetime.
Again, I don’t mean all this in a religious way. I never want to come across like that. I simply mean Jesus is real, and we do have a relationship, and it trumps anything I know.
[Sometimes I hesitate to talk about my faith directly because that seems to be the easiest way. It’s so easy to say, “I’m a Christian” and so much harder to live in such a way that people know you are, whether you say it or not.]
At home, however, I have no qualms about talking to my children about faith. I mean, they hear about everything from their friends, their teachers, and whomever they have conversations with. Why shouldn’t they hear from me?
I’ve heard some people say it should be up to the child to form their own opinion about what belief system to subscribe to. I think that’s true. Unless the child makes that choice to believe, it pretty much won’t make a difference in their lives. Especially when they get older.
I also think that part of parenting means steering your child toward your belief system. Whatever that is. S and I are Christians, so we steer our children toward God. And while we don’t require them to follow a given set of religious rules, we do talk freely with them about Jesus and what He means to us.
Every night, I wake up at all hours to check on my boys and make sure they haven’t kicked their blankets off. And every night, I would find each boy curled up in a fetal position, the blankets at the foot of their beds, or on the floor. And every night, I would pull those blankets up and cover them. And every night, without fail, as soon as the warmth hits them, they would stretch out and turn over, hugging the covers to themselves. This without them ever waking up.
I ask the boys all the time why they don’t just wake up and grab their blankets when they feel cold at night. Don’t they know better by now? They say they do feel the cold, but it’s like they’re dreaming or something. Sometimes they’re too sleepy to move.
I’m the one who is awake, who knows where the blankets are, and who doesn’t mind making sure the boys get them back. And in parallel, the hubby and I are the ones who know a bit more about life, and thus can provide directions and landmarks for our young explorers.
Soon enough, our boys will brave this big, scary world we live in.
Soon enough, they’ll be on their own.
Soon enough, we won’t be there to make sure they sleep warm each night.
And soon enough, they’ll stumble and fall and will have to figure out what to do next, without us reaching down to help them get back on their feet.
So while we have them in our house, I will make sure they have their blankets. And while they’re dependent on us, we will make sure they know enough about Jesus, so they too will have Him with them. You know, when they step out and move away.
And if marriage isn’t something for them, they won’t ever have to feel like they will never be complete. Because there is something better than marriage.
And if they do get married one day, they will hopefully know enough not to place unreal expectations on their future wives’ shoulders. Because their future wives will be beautiful but imperfect, just like them.