I woke up today feeling out of sorts, and not quite feeling like I wanted to write.
It wasn’t that I had nothing to say. I’m so opinionated it’s almost impossible to shut me up.
It’s more like, there’s this thorn that keeps pricking me, and I know what I want to say about it, but I don’t know if I should. It has been bugging me [which just means the hubby is sick of the topic] but I just don’t know if it’s nothing but a can of worms waiting to slither up my arm and make things worse.
Ever been in this spot, where you are dying to say something, but you just can’t seem to envision a good resolution to things?
I’ll even throw it that word we Christians love to use to justify our actions–conviction. I’m almost convinced I’m convicted, the problem is, I’m not quite sure who is behind the convicting.
In a situation where there isn’t a clear middle ground, what do I need to do to get over things?
Something the hubby said earlier is starting to make sense to me. And I suppose it is true. When straddling a rather thorny fence in an issue, maybe my next step depends entirely on my relationship with the person or people involved.
In this case, I know there’s a friendship, but I think other factors have come into play, thus it’s safe to say that friendship may not be able to survive this test.
Which also means it could just be an issue of timing.
And then there’s my motive. In this instance, it’s concern. Which is why it’s so hard to brush off. But could I just be a tad, just a tad, irritated as well?
See, in so many other instances, I have to admit I acted out of an embarrassing belief I was in the right and it was my job to fix things. I had somehow convinced myself I was reaching out only because I wanted to help. I didn’t, really. I just wanted to correct something I thought was in need of correcting.
That has a name. It’s called meddling. And after it happened to me a certain number of times, I finally realized how annoying it was. And how it never really helps.
So, about this particular thorn. Maybe I should sleep on it some more. Living with it might turn out to be a better deal than having to find my way through the mud that would most likely result should I say anything at all.