Advice From the Inexperienced: Girls, Dating and A Whole Lot of Giggling




I was working on a blog post earlier today when something happened that changed what I had planned to write about. See, there are times when things fall into place for me–just like that–and I can never say no to them. I’m always grateful for the inspiration, and this time, I’ve got my boys to thank.

Today, after school and while they were eating, my sons and I got to talking. About girls. And it is because of that conversation that their mother is about to write about dating.

{See, it’s a topic I don’t really know a lot about–I didn’t date much. I could ask my hubby to be my guest writer. He’s lived a full life when it comes to dating. But something tells me it’s safer to draw insight from his sons’ words. There’ll be less drama that way. *tongue-in-cheek*}

So here’s dating in a nutshell, drawn from three separate events that somehow clicked together after today’s talk at the kitchen table.


Story Number 1, Lesson Number 1: Dating is hazardous.

When J was about seven or eight years old, he attempted to explain the difference between being smart and being wise to his then four-year-old brother. He said something like, “Smart is counting there are twenty cars on the road. Wise is knowing if you step out on the road, you are going to get killed.” So, don’t step out on the fast lane unless you know what you’re doing.


Story Number 2, Lesson Number 2: There are all kinds of girls {and boys}. Take your pick, but choose wisely. Read and learn…

(This is today’s conversation.)

My two boys were sitting at the kitchen table, downing {and refilling} tall glasses of milk and scarfing down toasted bread, two kinds of cheese and grapes {yes, they do like weird combinations like that}.

Seven-year-old E: “Mommy, I think there are two kinds of girls. The hard-to-find girls, and the easy-to-find girls.

Swallowing a grin, I pretend indifference: “Uh-huh. And how do you tell them apart?

E, with the air of an expert: “Well, the easy-to-find girls say hi to you, a lot!

Eleven-year-old J jumps in: “Yeah, they giggle a lot, they say hi to you. They ask you your name and they wave at you And some even ask out the boys they like.”

E: “The hard-to-find girls act like they don’t like you. When a boy asks if a girl likes him, she says no, so the boy thinks, hmmm she doesn’t like me.

Me: “But she does?

E: “Maybe. A lot of girls in my class ignore me, Mommy. Sigh. But there’s two in my class, Mommy, and I think God has a plan for them. Together. Cause somehow, they’re always together. They get called together, they’re in groups together. They’re always together. Sigh.


Story Number 3, Lesson Number 3: Dating should be grounded on reality, not spurned on by some ideal or fantasy that exists only in your mind.

A couple of weekends ago, E stated quite clearly that, “When you’re young, you believe in fantasy. When you get a little bit older, like Kuya, you stop believing in fantasy. Then you get older again, and you start believing in it again.” So learn to distinguish between a possibility and a fantasy. Too often, we get those two mixed up, and the long fall always hurts.

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