The Geek Squad on Retainer


Feel the need to be technologically savvy? Pssh. I know a geek squad. And they live in my house.

When you’re married to a geek, and your sons turn out the same way, there’s not much to worry about when it comes to all that high fallutin’ technological stuff. Really. Even my seven-year-old knows more than I do. Which doesn’t mean much but is still helpful.

Each time I need to make use of a gadget/appliance/thingamajiggy that keep companies like Apple and Nintendo in business yet does nothing but up my frustration level after every encounter, I find myself blessing the man I married and the sons that take after him. Even if their high-pitched explanations can get annoying at times.

Admittedly, at times they claim to be too busy to help. So I whip out the best weapon in my Mommy Arsenal: I simply remind them of the scars lining my tummy. And of the nine months of nausea. And the culminating pain of childbirth. Viola! They drop everything and come running. It works like a charm, every time.

{Oh, whatever! So I manipulate them from time to time. The older they get, the more I lose my credibility as the coolest girl/woman/mommy around. So I’m not above using what I got to get them to pay attention.}

For example, the bedroom loft is my territory. It’s as messy as my personality, but it holds things of value as well. Like my books. And my scrapbooking stuff. And a comfortable futon with flowery pillows. My Jars of Clay collectibles add to the flavor, as do my kids’ artwork.

I also keep my exercise equipment up there. And my physical therapy stuff–for my bum ankle–are piled high up in one corner. The layer of dust would tell you I wasted money buying all those exercise tools.

So a few months back, I asked hubby to move the Wii and a flat-screen TV up there as well. I claimed my Wii Mii was my new best friend and we would be spending a lot of time together. The layer of fat around the middle part of my body would tell you we broke the relationship off way too soon.

So anyway, I didn’t bother learning how to use the Wii. I just made sure my youngest son E was there each time I stepped on that balance board. He set it all up for me. And performed standard troubleshooting procedures when the need arose. He cheered me on as well. Talk about full service.

There’s also the PS3 in the family room. I’ve never even touched it. I use it to watch movies in blu-ray though. This time J, my oldest son, sets it all up for me. All I do is curl up on the sofa and enjoy the show. And J would sit next to me, and we’d get lost in another world together. My goal is simple: share chips, popcorn, and a soda; watch a good movie; savor inspired conversation; and build memories for a lifetime.

Now when it comes to my Mac, I only touch what’s saved on my desktop, and the icons on the dock. Beyond that, I haven’t really done any exploring. And when something out of the ordinary happens, I step back as hubby takes over. It’s that simple.

Hubby knows my Nikon better than I do too. I use it, he maintains it. Just like my Subaru. I drive it, and I park it. Gas low, oil change, car wash? Super Hubby is on the job!

The way I see it {pay attention as I’m about to justify my laziness here}, technology is simply a tool I use to accomplish my purposes. In accepting their value, I also recognize that they are around simply because they fulfill a need. And as long as what I have works, I don’t collect, upgrade or dream of better models. Technology is just stuff–stuff that should exist for a reason. This is the only way their cost can be rationalized.

Oh, and I have an iTouch too. I literally took it from a friend who didn’t need it anymore. I don’t use it to listen to music. I use it to waste time. And because it’s so important to me, I charge it myself. Don’t need no help there. Don’t want to run out of battery in the midst of a battle for my roof.

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