This rambling was inspired by my sister’s recent experience.


We ladies are afflicted with something I’m not quite sure we would readily admit. I’d call it a malady, but maybe that’s too strong a word for it. It drives me crazy sometimes, and I’m never smart enough to avoid it for good.

The truth is, we women can be very cruel in our friendships. It begins at a very early age and gradually worsens depending on our various experiences.

It starts to emerge in the kindergarten playground. You might know what it’s like. A group of girls are playing together, and another girl tries to join them. You know those looks, you remember those whispers. And you might be familiar with the sudden shaft of pain at the unexpected rejection.

By high school, we’re experts at snide remarks and catty comments. The really good ones are those who appear to be sweethearts, but have hidden claws as sharp as razors.

We gravitate toward those we like and form packs. Yet even among the ranks, we love to criticize. But should someone else from another pack say something, we fall into formation and fight back, giving it all we’ve got.

We faithfully defend our pack friends. We fight their battles, most times we pitch in without knowing what’s really going on. And we get burned. Badly.

A few months ago, I too was fighting someone’s battles. I did my best, because I thought I was fighting for what was right. Imagine my surprise when I found out that person was manipulating me. My back still hurts from the experience.

Hopefully, however, I’ve been cured of this malady–at least for some time. I’m pretty sure it will rear it’s ugly head again. But I’m trying to stay alert and not fall for it.

I’m all for loyalty in friendships. But I’m learning to be smart about it.

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