con-fuzzled

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***originally posted on December 1, 2008

It puzzled Paul.
He said that the things he knew he was supposed to do, he didn’t want to do. Mostly, he ended up doing the things he knew he wasn’t supposed to do, which were the things he wanted to do.

How bad would it sound to my Father if I told Him He would have to change my heart just so I would want to spend time with Him?

I do it all the time.
I do it because He has warned me to never go by my feelings.

He said my heart is deceitful.
He said it can’t be trusted.
So I really can’t depend on my feelings.
And I’ve learned that He is right.

If I wait until I feel like working on that Bible Study lesson I am supposed to do daily, I will never do it.
If I wait until I feel like studying my Sunday School lesson, I will probably be rushing through it in the car on the way to church.
If I wait until I feel like praying for others, I will probably be embarrassed the next time someone comes up to me to thank me for remembering to pray for them, God has answered their need.
If I wait until I feel like forgiving someone for a snide remark, I probably will never talk to that person again.
If I wait until I feel like doing something God-related, I will probably be a stranger when I finally meet God face to face.

So I don’t depend on my feelings.
Most of the time.

Because I never just naturally desire to please my Father.
Because I’d rather get my way.

I’m good at making it seem like what I want is what my Father wants too.
Mostly I know I’m wrong, but I do it anyway.
I’m good at enjoying the good things in life.

So good that I miss the best He has planned.

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